Change

25 May 2009

All I've ever done is listened, understood and helped.
Always I've told people to simply "Be yourself" and not to worry about what the rest of the world thinks.
I help others, to help myself, or, that's what I believed.
I am She Who Does Not Take Her Own Advice, one of the many who do not practise as they preach, and I realise now that who I am with the people surrounding me and who I am inside do not co-exist.
When I look at myself now, I know who I am. I have come far to know this much, but something was never right, something I always knew was false, and now I see.
Now I know, that it's time to stop being who everyone wants me to be, and to start being Me, whole and true, as nothing other than who I am.
The time for change, has come.

Potato Spud

20 May '09 -Yes, I know, I was bored ^^; -

Potato spud, potato spud, mashed though you may seem,

When I look upon your eyes I see you have a dream,

Potato spud, potato spud, alone you are not,

So just be sure you never jump into the cooking pot,

Potato spud, potato spud, cold as you may feel,

Know that the coldness isn't what is real.

If seeing is believing, and you cannot be shown,

Then nothing is believeable and nothing can be known,

Potato spud, though eyes you have, you know you'll never see,

So just be happy knowing that someday I'll set you free.

Small words

19 May '09

Small words, Long nights,
Nightmares, Big frights,
Mazes, Crumbling walls,
Steep cliffs, Big falls.
New moon, Darkfall,
No land marks at all.
Three words, Great shock,
Cruel people, Verbal mock.
One man, One mind,
Everything that's locked inside,
Short glace, Nothing much?
Topics that still sting to touch,
Still here, With you,
Words you know that won't get through.
Huge mansion, Crushed now,
Hodlams still prowl,
New ways, Bigger bites,
Less daylight, Longer nights.
One big, huge house,
Must be quiet as a mouse.
Broken things, Locked up rooms,
Inpenetrated by the moon.
Small hints, Big gaps,
Falling into hidden traps,
Huge forts just to hide
All the things we hold inside.

Soft hand, Light of touch,

Speak little, Listen much,
Short looks, Small hints,
Watch for all the minor glints.
Only those who chase the spark
Can help to pull us from the dark,
Find them and help them to see
All of which you need set free.
It's one person, One dance,
Be sure to take that single chance...

To understand

18 May '09

What is it you see when you stare into the rain,
Who is it you trust when you look deep into people's eyes,
Why is it, that when it all comes down to it, no two people can see things quite the same way?
How is it, that when I talk to a person, I understand things that never came up and see the things that never crossed your mind?
How is it so many people only see what is 'obvious' and not make the connections?
Why is it that I work so differently from the rest of the world..
I look into a persons eyes, and I see basics, I talk to a person, and I figure out things that most people could never have pulled from the conversations, but I look into my eyes, and I see nothing, as if there's nothing there for me to see. I am a vampire, invisible in the mirror..
I don't understand how I am able to see so far into other people, past things nobody else bothers to notice, and still, have no way of seeing into myself.
Time comes now to turn my perspective inwards, and find who I am, but for that, I need you to help

Pandora

One woman, many gods, gifts of many forms,
Intelligence and beauty are things that she adorns,
One woman among many men, but still she is her own,
Until the day a box, recieved, had her mind overthrown.
Through all the heartfelt willpower she tried to look away,
And yet this gift, this box, was stuck in her head through the days.
Forbidden, she was, to open it, but determination swayed,
She lifted the lid and so set free the curses of today,
Greed and cruelty were released, amongst them many more,
And when she realised what she'd done she closed the box once more.
But one was stuck within the box, "Please let me out," she called,
"I can help you, set me free," but Pandora just stalled.
To look upon what she'd unleashed, she doubted what remained,
But again temptation won, she lifted the lid again.
A creature so serene stared back, so peaceful and so calm,
Eyes like that of angels then aided in her charm,
"Hope is what they call me, and if you'd take my hand
"We can help stop the curses fully conquering the land.
"For those to whom are stronger than to give in to this plague
"Can turn here for assistance, their senses will regain."
We must know to be catious as such burdens roam the land,
But Hope will always be there, just make sure to take her hand.

May 15 '09

What makes us Cry?

April 25 2009

What is it that makes us cry,
What is it, that fills our eyes with tears,
How is it, that such 'small' 'insignificant' things can crush us the way they do,
How are we able to feel,
How are we able to smile,
How are we able to love, when it does nothing but bring tears to our eyes,
You could tell me 'We're only human,' or give me information on the human body, But it solves nothing, it answers no questions, it doesn't explain the pheromones or the passion, or how such wonderful things amount only to the millions of tears that stream from our eyes.
Nothing would have been accomplished, Nothing would have changed, Because the age old questions shall forever remain, because the same, solemn, endless streams of tears shall continue to flow, always, and no science, no logic, and no statement, can ever, explain that.

Fall

April 11 '09

Fall into the deepest pit,

Of the lowest ocean,

Fall from the greatest height,

Where the atmosphere begins.

Fall from the worst of worlds,

Into the arms of the one who was always around,

Who you never gave a second glance,

Who tried so hard to catch your eye,

Who always will be there for you.

Fall, and be caught,

Lie in such sweet arms,

Look deep into such adoring eyes,

And see what you’ve never seen before.

Fall, and Love,

Eternally,

The way Love should be.

Lockdown

Possibly one of my best poems, certainly one of my favourites. Wrote 16 July '08

Put my heart on lockdown, throw away the key,
Take away my chances; don't let me be free,
Toss me in a dark room; make sure to lock the door,
Make sure that my life can't ever be what was before.
Tell me that you love me, tell me it's a lie,
Go ahead and break my heart; sit and watch me die.
See me in the window, looking at the rain?
Do you see inside of me, do you see the pain?
Have you ever felt it; that hurting deep inside?
Do you know the feelings of the things I try to hide?
You don't understand it, you won't ever know,
You will never hold inside the things I do not show,
So put my heart on lockdown, throw away the key,
Take away my chances, never set me free.

Unworthy

Just something I wrote 7th July '08 to kinda get this blog going

Clearly I'm not worth of that which should be shared,
It's clear to me now that you never even cared,
Free of will surely, Fair enough perhaps,
But still it plants me back in a time lapse.
Did you ever know it, did you understand,
That I am nothing simple, nor anything grand?
I am something distant, something so complex,
And just when you can reach it it becomes a shattered mess.
Never have I let someone in so deep,
Let them see into all the feelings that I keep,
But I thought you were different, a whole new board game,
Yet now I come to wonder if maybe you're the same...