Ruins

Laying in the ruins of my own mistakes, Surrounded by the consequences of my own wrong doings, I feel like it would be only a pin to break my back.
I should be happy. I should appreciate everything I have.
I try to be happy, but happiness doesn't last.
Often it's happiness itself that is the pin to break our backs for it is what we have to leave at the door when we return home. If home is where the heart is, I don't wish to be here any longer. I do not wish to be shattered under the pressure of my own loses.
What will it take for us to remain content, for us to be able to survive the day without a feeling of failure, without the realisation that all we wish to be shall never sustain.
How is it that you can dream so sweet among the reminants of all you never wanted when every dream of mine is pain. My every ray of light, a tragedy, for it is the tragedy's that make me truely happy. It is only when I fall to my last thread that I can feel even the slightest bit better, that I can try to remember what happy is suposed to mean.
The single pin that can break a back is no more than the same pin we find in recovery.
The ruins, my only refuge and my broken home.

..Happiness is a vicious cycle, a final mistake..

Happiness

is both the Light,

And the Darkness.

Failure

The only failure we are ever involved in is one that we created on our own. The only things we succeed in are the things we try for. The only times we trip are when we aren’t paying attention, and its then that someone is there to catch your fall, when you just stop caring anymore. Just when you think the whole world has lost all meaning, that the entire universe could fold and it wouldn’t make a difference, someone comes along. Someone helps you and holds you and makes you feel better, and what is there then, but happiness that you can only hope will last. Never should a person cross the line of no return, for it is then that our lives truly change, it is then that we realise we made the mistake, it is then that we know we shouldn’t have done what was, and then that we learn that every mistake and failure is what makes us ourselves, and only then can we realise that this is why this stranger stepped in, this is why there was someone to help us up, to hold us, to make the days worthwhile, for we are nothing without mistakes.

Love

L etting
O ur hearts
V enture
E ver further

Love Game

11 August 2009

“Give me love, Give me love, Love me well and true
Come on baby, Love me back, Love like I love you
I want you now, right here with me, Hun I love you, can’t you see?
Come on babe don’t break my heart, it’s with me you should be”
It shall not happen this time; I will not play your games
I will not boost your ego, I won’t bring myself pain
For you are just a cruel man, a player and a prick
Your heart is nothing more than a big red hunk of brick
You do not understand me, you never even tried
But today I realised, today I did decide.
See me not tomorrow, do not ring my phone
Don’t come crawling back to me, don’t you whinge and moan
I’m done with you, I’m through with this, I’m making my own way
Freedom, Love and Happiness, in future, mine will stay.

A Thousand Words

10 August 2009

A thousand words
A single line
I loved you at that point in time
You hurt me then
I’m yours no more
It was in two, my heart, you tore
You saw me there
You watched me cry
You waited ‘til my eyes ran dry
You helped me up
You rubbed my back
But in your eyes compassion lacked
You sung to me
In words so sweet
Through all your lies this was your feat
But I saw through
Your passive lies
You watched as I broke through your ties
I found you then
I left you down
Your eyes locked on my empty frown
I spoke to you
In words so sweet
Returned to you my heart throb, deep
Remember me
Remember this
You nor your sweet words I’ll miss

Sweet Lover

10 August 2009

Her eyes, Decadant Jewels adorning the midnight sky,
Her hair, Glistening like a thousand water droplets under the light of the moon,
Her heart, Heaven itself, Tarnished only by the crueltys of man.
Never has she seen me as the man I wish to be.
Never shall she see me as her love, her joy and her meaning,
For I am nothing more than a solemn object, far from view.
Never seen, Never heard, Never loved as I love another yet forever infinate.
May the air she breathes be as pure and sweet as my love for her,
May her life be as lovely as a velvet red rose,
and may she someday feel for me as I have always felt for her.


Credit to Andrew for his inspiration~

Decide

9 August 2009

Kill me, save me, forever change my day
Hurt me, help me, wonder if I’ll stay
Push me, catch me, see how far I’ll fall
Rush me, stop me, see if I’ll go at all
Test me, Try me, Find out if I can
Hear me, Ignore me, Work out who I am
Keep me, Change me, Find out what you like
With me or against me, is it for love or strife

Soul Searching

In all my life I've never known a person such as me,
Looking for connections in the things that wander free.
Ever should I find someone so intricate as I,
Mistakes and faults and failures would simply float on by.
I'm looking for myself now, I'm trying to find my soul,
I need someone who understands to help me reach my goal.
I cannot see inside of me like I see through other's walls,
And when I reach the higher powers I don't seem to hear their calls.
They're muffled with my own thoughts, of who I think I'd be,
I need a new connection as it's only them who see.
My spirit is within me; Has been through every life.
A whole persona still retained through hardships and through strife.
I wish to know what she knows, I wish to know her name,
I wish to be completely her, To be one an the same.